4 years of residency, here we come!!!
It has been very eye opening the past few weeks. You hear horror stories from other residents and you try to prepare yourself for the future, but I'm sorry, nothing can prepare you for what you actually have to go through as a wife of a resident.
I just got back from visiting Sarah in Columbus for the weekend. I was so excited to see J.R. and to get to sleep next to him again...then the alarm went off at 5am and I realized the last week wasn't just a nightmare. We are still going strong and the alarm and the pager still controls our lives. I was so sad this morning hearing him leave knowing that since he was on call there was a very big chance I wouldn't see him till the next day. SO, I eventually got out of bed, wrapped Elliot into my arms and went on with the day, trying to keep us busy and our minds off the fact that "dad's at work" again.
I've been searching for a "How to survive residency" book and there's nothing out there. If I had the slightest bit of writing skills I'd write a 'how to' book for all those lonely resident wives out there. I keep telling J.R. that I need a task. I need something to work on or work toward that is tangable that I can focus on every day. I feel like Elliot is bored out of his mind and I'm tired of going to the zoo or the park with no one to talk to or laugh about how cute Elliot is with. Poor J.R. is missing out on Elliot. Some weeks he only gets to see him for just a few hours. A few hours a week??? That's crazy. Do we seriously have to do this for 4 years?
When we first moved here I thought the next 4 years would go by so fast, but now it seems like the days last forever!
As you can tell I might need a little encouragement along our path. Any suggestions or comments on how you survived a medical residency with cold dinners left out on the stove and pagers going off before you can even steal a kiss....PLEASE let me know.
There is so much unknown in our future that it's hard to look forward to something. Where are we going to live? What kind of practice will he have? Will he have to take hospital call? Will he only have to work 3 days a week or is that a big lie? Will we actually want to spend time together when we've spent the last 4 years living totally separate lives? Will our kids have any kind of relationship with their dad? Is it all really going to be worth it? Will our loans ever get paid off?
After all that ranting and raving, there are several quotes that come to my mind...
"Bloom where you're planted"
"Memories are made everyday - make sure they are happy ones"
"Fake it till you make it"
"Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day"
"Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. "
"The only disability in life is a bad attitude"
"Got no checkbooks, got no banks,Still I'd like to express my thanks -I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night."
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."
"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes."
"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives"
"Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will always want to have something else or something more"
"There is a time and a season for everything"
And so, I will continue on our journey through J.R.'s education and try to stay possitive and look for the light at the end of the tunnel. There is always something to do and relationships to nurture. Maybe this is my time to work on my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus. Even though I won't see much of J.R. at least our relationship will grow because my relationship with God is growing. (visualize the marriage triangle)
XOXO, Chelsea
.JPG)
Elliot loves wearing his cowboy boots and back pack.JPG)
Eating "opikals" on the back steps.JPG)
Playing in the back yard with the sweet water dragon/snake..JPG)
This is what J.R. looks like everyday. Same scrubs, same lab coat, same pager, same stethoscope...
Dr. J.R. Haynie DDS - What a hottie!
10 comments:
hang in there chels! I can't imagine what you are going through- but know that you are loved!! I'm so glad I got to see you and squeeze your sweet baby! love ya girl! Keep in touch!
Oh man, I'm so sorry, hang in there! My sister went through the same thing with Medical School and residency and one thing that really helped her was becoming friends with the other resident wives. Good luck and you can do it!
Hey Chels! I'm sorry it's been so crazy! There's a blog out there called "Real Life Resident's Wife". It's private and a lot of my friends who are resi wives are a part of it. I'll find out so you can join! Good luck..."This too shall pass"
My husband didn't go through residency, but I do remember adding up all the time that he'd been gone in one year and realized that is was almost half the year! The best thing I know of is to eat chocolate--no not really. Give yourself credit for being awesome, take time to try new things and don't be afraid to be excited about the small stuff (like dinner as a family). I know high school was long time ago, but I still love ya and think your such an amazing person. Take Care.
residency (of any kind) can be a killer... especially ones that involve surgery! my husband just finished his 2nd year (4 more to go!) and i dont think people understand what it is like unless they have lived it. it doesn't help moving to a new city either where you dont know anyone. eventually you just get used to it and make the best of it. i watch lots of movies when he is on call and try to come up with projects to do. GOOD LUCK.
What a rough week, I'm so sorry. Those pictures of Elliot are so cute. We should get together again, looks like the rain may clear out for a couple days!
Hey Chels, there's a web page that they gave to all the med students wives at the uofu that is a major help when it comes to residency. It's a group of women (past and current residents wives) that have gotten together and created this page where you can ask questions, chat, all that sort of stuff. They also have activities posted for the various places you live for married students and their families to get together. I can't remember the web address right now, but if you're interested I'll get it to ya. I looked at it a while back and it was pretty cool.
Chelsea!!! Life is so hard! I totally have been there (like every other day) I feel like I hardly know how to have fun by myself. Does Elliot like to explore? Maybe pick a new store to check out everyday for an hour if the weather's too yucky to be outside. Even if being productive means getting ONE thing done... Read lots of books, host a party to maybe find other girls in your shoes??? Hang in there. Time makes everything easier.
p.s. LOVE LOVE LOVE your family picture. How did you get those colors so bright??? It looks great.
Hi Haynie Family! I saw your blog listed on the Cowley's so I thought I'd drop over and say hi. Wow--4 years of residency doesn't sound like fun at all. Hopefully it will get a little better as you get into a routine and meet people in the same situation. But, Elliot is a DOLL!!
our blog is www.tararustyhallejosh.blogspot.com if you ever want to stop by!
Chelsea, this post sounds disgustingly too familiar...and is that a picture of my handsome husband? Oh no, that is just exactly what Jason looks like everyday, too. I am totally with you, we knew it was going to be hard and difficult, and awful but who knew THIS awful!? Yikes! We are just trying to survive each day-a day at a time. I know it is difficult for Jason with crazy long hours and no sleep, but is killer on me, too. We will have to keep in touch to make sure we are surviving and to vent- because I try to explain things to my friends or girls in the ward and they have NO idea. Luckily, I have three OMFS residence wives that are a great support here in Tennessee. I'll send you an email and give you our new numbers so you can call when you want to scream at someone or sob uncontrollably!!!! I will listen!!!!
Post a Comment