Sharing the Love

Miles 

Jaxon 

J.R. is so tired after work, I just give him the crying babies and let them all take a nap. 

Matchy Matchy. I love the doggy feet.  

They tend to get fussy in the evenings so this is usually how J.R. finds us when he gets home from work...just surviving till another set of hands walks through the door. 

(they must know J.R. is on his way - they're crying with excitement :)

Miles actually did smile at me and Elliot yesterday. This is another attempt to get a repeat performance. 

 Trying out a new sling. Miles loved it once I got him in. He fell right asleep. Jaxon on the other hand got dealt dirt...no comfy sling and no way to keep his binky in place.

My little bundle

Elliot's prayer last night: 

"Dear Heavenly Father, thanks that daddy came home from work and mommy sleeped on my couch."

(I guess that's what we do...take naps and wait for dad to come home. What an observant child :)

Random pics this week

 

Good night kisses

Double duty daddy 

 So much snow! Wishing it was spring. 

Elliot takes after his mom and hates being cold. Playing outside never lasts long.

Elliot loves being close to his brothers. Elliot and Jaxon watching a "moomie"

Loving on Miles. He's so good with them! 

Elliot has to be close to them. When they're watching the crib fishy toy, he wants in on the fun too. 

Jaxon just chillin. 

I can't wait till they can smile on command.

My sweet tooth vs. the best granola ever!

Why is it that while I was pregnant I had no desire to eat junk food or soda?? I actually craved fresh foods, salads, grilled chicken, orange juice, etc....I thought it was a miracle. It felt so good not to even WANT to eat a chocolate chip cookie or drink my usual favorite Dr. Pepper. And then I delivered the babies...

Now, all I want is a huge Dr. Pepper at the end of the day and my sweet tooth has returned with a vengeance. WHAT HAPPENED?? It is the most bizarre thing ever. I thought losing weight was going to be a breeze...and it was at first. I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight just two weeks after having the babies - dropping 30 lbs while I was in the hospital alone. I was feeling great!! But now I'm back to my usual self struggling, like most women, to watch what I eat, stop eating when I'm full and limiting my sweets and soda to a rare occasion. BLAH! Such is life I guess.

But to help curb my sweet tooth Andrea Comeau introduced me to the BEST homemade granola recipe in the world! It is better then candy and doesn't weigh you down or make you feel guilty after. I eat it at least twice a day on top of light vanilla yogurt. It really does the job when my late night, "I've had a rough day, I deserve a treat" sweet tooth comes a calling. Seriously, you have to try it!!

HOMEMADE GRANOLA  (straight from Andrea's blog)
3 1/2 cups rolled oats
1/2 cup coconut flakes
1/2 cup toasted nuts (I usually use sliced almonds, but lately have used chopped pecans)
2+ teaspoons cinnamon
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup canola oil
1 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon pure maple syrup
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

Bake at 375 for 25-30 minutes on a jellyroll pan, stirring every 10 minutes.
Add dried fruit (raisins) after it is done baking.

We tend to go through this pretty fast, so I usually make a quadruple batch so I only have to make it every couple of weeks. I keep it in a plastic cereal storage container and it keeps great.






Here's to attempting to get back to healthy eating!

Our basic day

Mostly for my journaling purpose....

0130: feeding time. J.R. is so great to get up with me a speed the process along. With J.R's help we can be done in about 45 minutes. Without his help feedings take at least 1-1.5 hours.
0330: another feeding time. Again love J.R! Don't forget to pump.
0700: another feeding time...this time I'm alone because J.R. is off to work between 0530 and 0600. I try to feed them one and a time, but sometimes they just can't wait and we perform a very precise juggling act trying to feed them both, burp them both and keep them from throwing up.
0830: Get twins back in bed or at least settled and get Elliot up for preschool. Clothes on, teeth brushed, twins in their car seats and out the door.
0930-1000: pump then feed while watching Regis & Kelly and the Today show. Grab a quick snack and jump in the shower while the boys are quiet and Elliot's away.
1130 pick up Elliot. Feed him lunch...if I can get him to eat at all.
1230 Feed that twins. Elliot's a good helper by keeping a binky going for one of them so I can have a little more one on one time at this feeding. Jaxon is usually the one that can be held off the longest. He'd rather be sleeping anyway.
1400: Turn on a movie for Elliot, get the twins wrapped and happy and sleeping then I curl up on the recliner and take a nap myself.
1530: Another feeding. Pump again sometime in here. This is when I start looking at the clock and counting down the time till J.R. gets home. Start thinking about what to make for dinner or say a silent prayer to thank for the wonderful friends who are bringing dinner!
1700: Turn off the T.V. turn on music, clean up toys and get ready for J.R. to come home.
1830: More bottles with J.R.'s help. Wrestle match with Elliot. Dinner. Dessert (my reward for surviving the day) Sometimes baths, laundry, dishes, grocery shopping etc....
2000:Elliot bed time. One on one with him. Books, stories, songs...J.R. and I love this part. Elliot is such a crack up. Catch up on recorded TV or J.R. study time.
2200: Feed and pump. TIME FOR BED! We fall asleep before our heads hit the pillow. 1AM comes so quickly and our day repeats.

That's pretty typical. The curve balls come in when babies are more fussy then usual, or they throw up or pee all over themselves. Trying to entertain Elliot with something other then movies (doesn't usually happen) Don't forget to pay bills, check email, fold laundry, keep bottles washed, go to mutual activies, prepare Sunday lessons, grocery shopping...all the day to day.

We are lucky though. We have lots more good days then bad. The babies are generally happy babies so besides feeding every 3 hours they're usually just sleeping. I feel great and can't wait to get the okay to get back into the gym. I'm not sure where that will fit in, but it's nice to think about at least.

So many people are willing to be here at a moments call. We are so blessed with such amazing friends. I really wondered how we'd do this with out family close, but I'm realizing we have friends here that are just a good as family! I just hope I can return the favor or at least find someway to show how much they're appreciated. It's impossible. (You know who you are....I love your guts!)


Elliot's night time prayers this evening:
Dear Heavenly Father. Thanks that we got to turn on Fievel movie and Bolt movie. Thanks that Brooke came and played at my house. Bless us to be strong and healthy and bless daddy to be strong like superman. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.


A few nights ago, J.R. was about to pray and Elliot said to ask Heavenly Father if he could have powers like Spiderman.  (they had just finished fighting "ghosts" so I think that's what spurred the thought)

Another Photoshoot

Miles 

Jaxon 

I love Elliot's eyes in this shot. Too bad Miles was screaming and Jaxon was scratching Elliots belly, otherwise we could have got more then just a couple cute pics. 

Another photo shoot

Miles toes...yummy! 

 Jaxon Black Haynie

Miles Landon Haynie

Still can't get enough of these two! Elliot and I are adjusting fairly well and starting to get into some sort of a routine. Still trying to figure out the best way to feed two screaming babies at once...it will come as they get better at eating, hopefully.

Any suggestions on how to get cute pics of both the boys together? Every time we try to lay them next to each other or on each other it turns into lots of tears. Any suggestions on cute twin pictures are welcome!

And so it begins!

Miles (left) Jaxon (right)

Love those cheeks!! 

Jaxon's 2nd day in the NICU 

Christmas Eve FONDU 

Miles first bath 

What a whirl wind adventure we've been on and it's only been 2 weeks. We were so happy to get Jaxon home and healthy. His lungs took their time recovering and maturing, but he pulled through. Miles has been doing great since day one. I got a lot of good bonding time with Miles before Jaxon came home. It gave me a chance to ease back in to infant motherhood. Now that Jaxon is home I've been trying to give him the lost bonding time too. He still looks like he's scared all the time...I wonder if he's afraid he's going to be poked for IV's and blood again, poor baby. 

I can't get enough of these boys! It blows my mind how different they look. I see a lot of Elliot in Miles, but Jaxon seems to have his own look. It calms my fears of not being able to tell them apart I guess.

How is it possible to experience so many joys and stresses in the same day and sometimes same hour?? We're having a hard time getting into a feeding groove. They're both so small they're taking their time learning how to stay awake for a whole feeding. Getting them on the same schedule can sometimes be torturous for everyone involved...especially the boys. We have to work so hard just to keep them awake while they try to eat enough to grow. I'm sure it's annoying to them when all they want to do is sleep. We'll get it eventually, I just have to relax and let it happen.

Elliot has loved "His Babies" He can't tell them apart, but it doesn't matter to him, he just wants lots of hugs and kisses and snuggle time with his babies. I feel like I tell him NO a lot. Don't touch their face, wash your hands, don't lay on them, get out of the swing- you're too big, BE SOFT!! Wow, I'm really need to be sure I'm adding positives to his day.  Being a mom of 3 is rough. Spreading the love and attention is tricky.

With all the ups and downs there is one thing for certain...We feel overly blessed! When I count my blessings now they have tripled! How Heavenly Father trusts me and J.R. with 2 more of his sweet spirits I'll never know, but I sure pray I'll live up to His expectations and help mold these boys into the men He needs them to be. 

FINALLY!!!

 Miles (Left) and Jaxon (Right)

Elliot holding his youngest brother Miles for the first time.

 He likes him!

I am sure we will have many more pictures and posts to share, but here is a start!  In short, we went in on Sunday evening 12/19/10 about 7:30 and they were both born about 11:30 pm.  Jaxon was born first weighing 6.0 lbs and 19.75 inches, then Miles next at 6 lbs 3 oz and 21 inches.  They were both taken to the NICU for four hours to be observed, then were found to be doing great and were released from the NICU and sent to our room.  Jaxon has actually been shuttled back and forth to the NICU because he kept having struggles breathing, and is now up there for the night.  Doc says he has a small pneumothorax which they are trying to treat with 100% oxygen in a tent.  They will check him again tomorrow morning and hopefully things will have improved so he can breathe a little easier.  Miles has been a champ and has been down here with us the whole time.  Elliot has actually seen both kids, but only was able to hold Miles.  I am not sure Elliot knows what to make of the situation, but he did say that we needed to sing to them when they started crying.  So far he has been a good big brother.  Thanks so much to our awesome neighbors (the Rushtons), for watching Elliot and taking him in at the drop of a hat yesterday so we could run in here to the hospital.  Chelsea is recovering well from her C-section, although she is still heavily medicated so who knows how she will do when she can't have the narcotics...hopefully well.  Interesting note, does anyone remember or know what else happened on Sunday, December 19th exactly six years ago?  We will both be posting pictures on facebook and this blog, so check in later if you would like to know/see more!

Fun at the museum

I'm not sure why I'm so anxious to get these babies here. If they weren't twins I'd still have 4 weeks to go. Sheesh! But alas, the wait continues.

Yesterday was a great day though. I had a MD apt. NO CHANGES...lovely. We took Elliot to the Childrens museum. Even though I've taken myself off bedrest....J.R. still had to push me around in a wheelchair due to my lack of stamina and lung space and all the other pains that come along with carrying so much extra weight. I can't wait till walking from point A to B doesn't make me want to cry from hip, back, pelvic etc pain. WOW, there I go again...complain, complain.

It was great watching Elliot play and spending time with J.R. That could potentially be our last fun outing as a family of 3. Crazy! Trips like that will never be so easy.

Elliot is obsessed with Santa. I don't blame him, he is pretty neat! He also loved the little reindeer lady at the entrance. It took him forever to get brave enough to approach her, but was more than happy to take a picture. He loved her blinking nose.

So happy for the season. The excitement in kids eyes. The opportunity to teach about why giving gifts is a tradition. The pondering of Jesus' birth and the anticipation of my own birth experience. I feel so blessed and loved! What a wonderful season!

Things are looking up

It's amazing how one day I can feel totally helpless, depressed and out of control and then....the sun comes up the next day.

That's exactly how this weekend was. On Friday I thought I was going crazy...literally. Then when my MD rounded on Saturday and told me I might get to go home, all of a sudden I felt in control again.  My brain had been constantly fighting between wanting to have the babies early just to get me out of the hospital and be with Elliot vs. keeping the babies in longer for their own good.  I must be nuts actually letting my brain think I'd sacrifice my own kids wellness with my selfishness of wanting a change in scenery. WOW! What a rollercoaster of emotions.

But now I am home and although I'm still sitting on a couch all day at least I'm in control of my actions. No more needing permission to shower, eat dinner on the couch rather then in my hospital bed, taking rides in a wheelchair just to see life beyond my hospital door...etc.... I get to make my own choices and it's awesome!

To make our day home from the hospital that much more awesome we closed the deal on our new van!! A 07' Honda Odyssey. It may have a lot of miles on it, but it's got all the sweet features you could want. J.R. was great and wheeling and dealing for a good deal too so we feel like we scored on the price tag too.  I hate shopping for a new car so this was a HUGE relief to have done before the babies got here and we were desperate.

Elliot get home tomorrow. Contractions are still minimal. I got almost all my christmas shopping done (thanks to the internet).  I'm not on any side-effect filled meds. I don't have to sit on a monitor 2 + times a day. I just get to relax and wait patiently for these babies to decide when their ready to join us. And I know it's in huge part due to all the prayers, thoughts and love that has been sent from so many people. I feel so blessed! Thank you so much!

LIFE IS GOOD AGAIN!

My reason for lonesomeness....

SO STINKING CUTE! Miss you Elliot! LOVE YOU!

So full of feeling

Feeling sappy
Feeling blessed
Feeling loved
Feeling watched over
Feeling worried
Feeling peace
Feeling movement
Feeling grateful
Feeling reflective
Feeling urgency
Feeling innadequate
Feeling empowered
Feeling missed
Feeling intensely loved by a family that is bound together for eternity!

It's amazing how close I've felt to my dad this past week. I have such a strong feeling that he is with me and that he has had his hand in making this experience so smooth, wonderful and unstressful.
Love you dad. Stay close. This road isn't over yet. 3

A Sunny Monday Morning

Good News: Babies are still cooking! I talked to my MD this AM. She said she wanted to discontinue the Mag on Thursday and let my body labor when it was ready. She rarely keeps twin moms on Mag longer then 34 weeks...especially with mine measuring so big. So what does that mean??

We could have these babies this weekend!

In the meantime I am keeping busy with christmas shopping online, blog stalking old friends, movie watching, listening to christmas music, napping and listening to the babies heart beats several times a day.

Here's a peak into my view from my hospital bed and J.R.'s view standing over head....

Hospital Stay Day 3. (33wks)

Beware: a lot of journaling

11.24.10: That morning I had about 7 contratctions in 1 hour, which is the max I'm allowed before we make changes....well, since I have been on the Turb pump for a solid 5 weeks I had increased my dose so much over time that I had reached my maximum daily dose....what next?MAG! At my usual MD apt. later this day my cervix had shortened again to 2.01 (which is pretty short) so my doctor said it's time to be admitted. They wheeled me over to the hospital striaght from her office. As the night went on my contractions continued even as we continued to increase the mag dose. At first the mag wasn't so bad, then slowly the effects crept in. It felt like I was on fire and burning from the inside out. Yikes!

11.25.10: By about 2 am we had reached a max dose with the mag and my contractions were still breaking through every 2-4 minutes. I was dilated to a 1.5 and about 90% effaced. Since both babies are breech my MD was worried about letting me labor too long and having a complication like a prolapsed chord or a foot sneaking out and then end in an emergency c-section. So, since she had several other patients laboring right then she decided to give me 2 more hours and if nothing changed we would be headed to the OR to deliver these babies. 4 hours later when she finally made it back to my room my contractions had slowed and my cervix was unchanged so....WE WAIT! I pretty much passed out, only waking to puke or pee (thank you Mag) for the rest of the night. All along the boys had been doing wonderful. Heartrates steady and no signs of issues at all. GOOD JOB boys! Way to hang in there.  Thanksgiving was more of the same...watching the babies, watching the contractions and trying to wean down the Mag dose I was on and try to wake me from the dead. J.R. enjoyed the free Thanksgiving meal in the cafeteria and I enjoyed a graham cracker and chocolate milk which I managed to keep down. 
Although this Thanksgiving was not ideal we still had so much to be thankful for! We are so blessed! Healthy Big boys that are hanging in there and doing great. Wonderful doctors and nurses to keep us safe and healthy and help us make good educated decisions. Wonderful friends, family and neighbors who have been  praying so hard for our benefit. A Heavenly Father watching over us and keeping us calm. My own father here by our side watching things progress and helping to lead us to the right decisions.

11.26.10: 1am woke up to the nurse asking if I've been feeling contractions. I said no, but apparently had 7 contrations in the last hour and the MD order to give me phenergan and Nubain to try to get me to relax and hopefully get the contractions to do the same. Early that night I had taken benedryl to help me sleep and if you don't know me I react to medications in extreme ways. The tiniest dose effects me in enormous ways. You can imagine what all those drugs did...Knocked Me Out! A few hours later I woke up with the nurse trying to strap baby monitors on me. The meds had calmed the contrations, but they also started effecting the babies. Their heart rates decreased with decels occasionally so they threw an oxygen mask on me and continued monitoring the babies the rest of the evening. I was so out of it I could hardly understand what was going on. By morning the babies had stabilized, I was comming out of my "coma" and my contractions were back down to about 4 per hour. They did an ultrasound on the babies just to be sure they were okay (protocol, I guess) and they are. Baby A measured 6 lbs 5 oz and baby B measured 4lbs 15 oz. Not sure how close those measurements are to reality, but either way we know they're big for their age so that is GREAT!!
The rest of today was spent sleeping off the remaining drugs from the night before and watching a movie with J.R.  Thank heavens J.R. had this entire weekend off. Yet another blessing sent straight from heaven. He doesn't have to go back to work till Monday. HOORAY! 
Elliot is still in Utah with Grandma and loving every second. We Skyped with the family last night and Elliot was on just long enough to say a quick hello then off he went to have more FUN FUN FUN with his great cousins. He's not lonesome at all. I started getting lonesome for him Tuesday night when I was laying in bed alone because J.R. was on call. It was weird thinking that everyone in our family was sleeping in a different place that night. I didn't like that feeling so I got lonely. Now that I'm hospital bound I'm so glad he's with my mom. I would be a wreck trying to figure out what to do with him if he were here. BLESSINGS, BLESSINGS, BLESSINGS EVERYWHERE!

The plan: continue to slowly wean me off the magnesium sulfate and transfer me back to the Terbutaline pump. Being able to go home will be another question?? Everything is still kinda up in the air. We'll just take it day by day and keep marinating this boys till their ready.  Pretty sure I'll be here at least till Monday. I'm hoping to keep the boys in till at least next Thursday when I'll be 34 weeks and both my mom and Elliot will be back in Indiana. Fingers crossed.

Thanks for all the well wishes and prayers! We have the best support group ever! Hugs back to everyone!

32 weeks and still counting

Lay down, lay down, lay down....that's pretty much my thoughts all day. It's so hard to stay down when I can think of a million things to do. Thankfully we moved our computer downstairs and I'm consumed with digital scrapbooking. So fun!

My  mom came out last week and spent the week cleaning my house, keeping us fed and putting up our christmas tree.  My house looks and smells wonderful and our spirits are again lifted. Moms are amazing at working their motherly magic! She left last Thursday with an extra piece of luggage by the name of ELLIOT! He was so excited to go. Every day he asked when he was going to "get on the plane with grandma and mommy stays here."

He's been gone for 4 days and he's not one bit homesick....mom and dad on the other hand...well that's another story....Actually we're doing great. My stress and guilt level is way down now that I know he's loving his life and not watching 14 movies a day.  1 1/2 weeks to go till Elliot gets back and hopefully these babies stay cozy inside that long  too.

Twin boys update: They are measuring 4 lbs 8 oz each via ultrasound. I've had to increase my contraction stopping medication quite a bit this week. I've almost maxed out on the medicine I can have per day so hopefully the contractions calm down. I wasn't sure I'd even make it to Thanksgiving and now here we are....so many blessings!

Speaking of blessings...the amount of support, love, meals and encouragement we have received from neighbors, ward members and friends is beyond anything we could have asked for.

WE ARE SO BLESSED!